This is the third story in my "Inspiring Women" Series.

"These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God's creation. I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth!" Revelation 3:14-16

Growing up in Connecticut in a house haunted by "Mr. Hibbard," witnessing moving objects, hearing footsteps, and seeing appliances mysteriously turn on and off were catalysts for Nancy H. becoming involved with the afterlife. She started to investigate other cultures and the occult, eventually practicing witchraft while simultaneously claiming to be a Christian. Black magic, séances, tarot cards, and communicating with the dead became rampant in Nancy's life until she successfully renounced them all, fully dedicated her life to Jesus Christ, and prayed for a spirit of discernment.

"I tried to play both sides of the fence," Nancy admits. "I'm glad God won."

Turning one's life over to Christ does not mean we won't endure trials. As the African proverb points out, "Smooth seas do not a strong sailor make," so it is with our lives--we can't expect to become strong in our faith if we don't face tribulations. As Christians, we are comforted by the fact that God will never leave us nor forsake us, so regardless of what we're facing, God will never lead us to a challenge without giving us the grace to bring us through it. Thus, the secret is to never give up.

This was the case with Nancy when her husband turned violent soon after saying "I do."

In many relationships, the abuser starts off as a Prince Charming, and Ron played his part well, quickly sweeping Nancy off her feet. She felt she had discovered a "diamond in the rough"--Ron had fallen on hard times, but claimed to be a Christian, was intelligent, handsome, protective and hard working. However, he used scripture against Nancy, and quickly became more and more violent. Because abusers are excellent at threats and manipulating their victims, the victims are frequently terrified to reach out for help. But when weapons got involved in 2002, Nancy reached deep inside for the courage she needed to make the call that would save her life. She persuaded her husband to take a break from his beating her to let her get him a glass of water, went down to the kitchen, quietly dialed 911, said simply "Domestic violence," hung up, and waited for the police to arrive while she faced her abuser for the last time.

The police showed up within minutes and promptly arrested Ron. Even though Ron successfully pled down seven previous domestic violence charges to misdemeanors, this last incident was a felony and he was hauled away. Nancy explains that part of what led to Ron's escalating violence was that he was never held accountable for the crimes he previously committed. He had a "sense of entitlement" (which Nancy calls an "adult version of a child's temper tantrum") and he justified his actions by twisting scripture and blaming Nancy and others.

While Ron was in jail, Nancy moved out of state for protection but continued to live in fear. Six months after her exodus, Nancy received a call informing her that Ron had committed suicide, and in his suicide note, Ron made it clear that if he could have found her, she would be dead as well. Because of what she endured, Nancy frequently speaks out on domestic violence and encourages other victims to do what they need to in order to protect themselves.

If you (or someone you know) are suffering at the hands of an abuser, Nancy encourages you to put together an "escape kit"--change of clothes, important papers, cash, medical records, contact numbers, etc.--and leave it with a trusted friend so that when the opportunity presents itself, you are prepared to safely leave. Nancy says, "Don't be too proud to go to a shelter."

TESSA offers a wide variety of prevention, intervention, and treatment services to victims of domestic violence and sexual assault, and limited services to offenders in seven locations throughout Colorado Springs. According to their Web site, domestic violence "has become a national epidemic [and] occurs every 15 seconds.... According to an FBI report, domestic violence is the leading cause of injury among women ages 15 to 44." According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline Web site, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends every day.

Nancy also recommends establishing some type of code word or signal, such as "gone to Grandma's" on a voicemail message with a friend or relative or leaving a back porch light on to indicate an emergency to a neighbor. She also recommends reading Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft to better understand DV.

Life did go on for Nancy. She earned her Bachelor's of Science in Organizational Management and Christian Leadership from Colorado Christian University, and is currently attending Fuller Seminary for her Master's in Theology. Nancy spent most of her adult life as a radio newsperson (one position even included "goat-keeper" for the station's mascot!), but also has an Associate's Degree in Veterinary Technology. She got into radio in 1980 thanks to fellow radio personality and friend, Sharon Dominguez-Harwell, and after a ten-year hiatus from the industry, was called to KTLF Light Praise (90.5 FM) in Colorado Springs two years ago, where she is the Afternoon Inspiration Host.

According to www.domesticviolence.org, domestic violence and emotional abuse are defined as "behaviors used by one person in a relationship to control the other." Examples include physical assault (hitting, pushing, shoving, etc.), name-calling or putdowns, keeping a partner from contacting their family or friends, withholding money, stopping a partner from getting or keeping a job, actual or threatened physical harm, sexual assault/abuse (unwanted or forced sexual activity), stalking, and intimidation. Although emotional, psychological and financial abuse are not criminal behaviors, they are forms of abuse and can lead to criminal violence.

To find out if you are a victim of domestic violence, visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline Web site and take a quiz. Then call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) if you answered "yes" to any of the questions.

To see what the Bible says about domestic violence, check out www.lovedoesnoharm.org.

1. Bureau of Justice Statistics Crime Data Brief, Intimate Partner Violence, 1993-2001, February 2003.