This is the second story in my "Inspiring Women" Series.

Jan R. learned rejection from a young age: being "sent" to church while her parents stayed home, being abandoned by her father when he left the family for another woman, and being physically and verbally abused as a child. She graduated from high school and married, only to be greeted by her husband's mistress after returning from their honeymoon. He eventually left after their second daughter was born.

When her husband left, Jan moved to California to attend Mount San Antonio College and make a better life for herself and her girls. Initially she was forced to rely on public assistance for survival but began a job cleaning houses, then worked in a warehouse. She always struggled as a single mother, working graveyard shift, dealing with child care issues, making ends meet, and with loneliness. She especially felt inadequate when her daughter started searching for a "dad" at the age of 3, then depression took over, forcing her older daughter to step in as the mother figure and big sister.

Jan attended a Baptist church for 6 years until one day she received some great advice from the pastor to find a new church that focused on and could better meet the needs of single moms. At Calvary Church in West Covina, CA, Jan connected with several dozen other single moms who met 4-5 times a week, went on camping retreats, and built orphanages during missions trips to Mexico. Jan felt right at home.

After the warehouse closed and unemployment ran out, she moved to Colorado Springs to look for work. Living with an "adopted" grandmother and grandfather for a couple of months, Jan finally learned how to drive, got an apartment, and found a job at Memorial Hospital, where she has worked for the last 13 years. Her older daughter graduated from college, got married, has 2 daughters, and works as an art therapist in California. Her younger daughter got pregnant, married, divorced, and chose a different lifestyle, all within a short period of time.

Feeling unwanted and unaccepted in such a dysfunctional family, Jan's granddaughter Olivia began acting out in school: hitting, pinching, lying, throwing tantrums, and stealing. Jan's daughter failed to recognize these behaviors as a cry for love, attention and affection; she gave up instead and accepted Jan's offer to take Olivia for a while. When an observant teacher at Olivia's charter school noticed certain symptoms, she recommended that Jan bring Olivia to a counselor, who diagnosed her with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD).

According to radkid.org, Reactive Attachment Disorder kids have "learned that the world is unsafe, and that the adults around them can't be trusted to meet their needs." Orphans and foster children commonly suffer from this disorder because of the lack of bonding as babies or being shuttled from one home to another. As a result, they protect their emotions and isolate from dependency on any adult figures until these skills become their only means of coping with the world. They rely on themselves for protection and feel threatened by anyone who tries to remove the protective walls they've built around them. RAD kids turn on those who help them the most, which has been the case with Jan and her granddaughter.

The counseling has helped and Olivia's behavior has improved in some ways; however, she has digressed in others, bringing forbidden items to school, acting out, and eventually getting expelled. Because Olivia never bonded with her mother, Jan does her best to build the bond between the two of them: spending quality time together, reading books, cooking in the kitchen, playing dress up, having tea parties, and showering her with love.

Jan has many support systems from which she draws her strength: friends, family members, coworkers, church, support groups, Women of Worth Bible Study ladies, and Women of Courage, Inc., a ministry for single moms where she has been a partner mom for many years. Not only has Jan served in a leadership capacity with WOC, but she has also benefitted from the many services they offer, including helping find a counselor for Olivia. WOC's director, Darlene Harris, raised her own granddaughter so she is able to empathize with Jan, offer support, encourage, and give advice.

Olivia is young and has a good chance of being able to overcome, or at the very least, better able to cope with her RAD. Knowing that many people are praying for them is encouraging to Jan. Patient, helpful and understanding friends, teachers, and school staff are definitely appreciated. Raising a grandchild is not an easy task, especially when you're on your own, have a limited income, and the grandchild faces many unique challenges, but Jan refuses to give up, even when others doubt her success.

Olivia turned 8 years old on May 8, enjoys Math and History (even prefers to do practice lessons instead of playing during recess), earns mostly A's and B's in school, and doesn't have a favorite teacher. For sports, she participates in karate, swimming and soccer, and has recently been invited to join the Blue Jays soccer team. Her favorite holiday is Halloween because she likes to dress up like a princess, although she likes Christmas as well. She enjoys checkers and chess; and monkeys, dogs, cats and gorillas are her favorite animals. She hopes to be a teacher or President when she grows up.