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Blog Entry 22 of 23 The Incredible Shrinking Woman
DIET is a four letter word. My weight issues began in elementary school, when I started stealing and hiding food to comfort myself. In my early 20's, I really began packing on the pounds when I had 3 children within 8 years. I tried several diets, which WORKED, if only I would STICK with them. I used every excuse in the book: Life happens, I deserved it, I'm stressed, my fatness was everyone else's problem, people should accept me for WHO I was, not for what I looked like, who cares anyway? I lost weight for the wrong reasons, and the bad taste in my mouth stayed with me like a burnt entree. At my heaviest in December 2000, I weighed 237 lbs., morbidly obese for my 5'1" frame. A month later, I started a diet and joined a gym and got down to 159 by September. After a family crisis occurred and lasted 4 years, my turning to food for comfort took its toll. Still I searched...magazines, books, supplements, but never found the missing link until Nov. '06, when I looked at my recovery from an emotional, spiritual, physical and mental standpoint. Finding an exercise regimen I could live with for the rest of my life was crucial as well. Won't you join me on my journey as I whittle myself down to my goal of 123 lbs. by March 2008?

Challenge Update Day 4
Contributed by: Stephanie Johnson   on 3/14/2008

As I mentioned in my previous blog, I grudgingly signed up for the Spring Challenge at Curves. I also mentioned that I was at risk of losing my No. 1 position on the Top Ten Losers board.

I have bad news and good news: When the March results for the Top Ten Losers were posted, I wasn't just knocked down to No. 2, I was knocked down to No. 3 (mmm, that was some yummy Humble Pie)! But the good news is, the Spring Challenge started Monday, and I am already seeing (and feeling) results!

Monday and Thursday, we did a Power Workout, which concentrated on pushing the machines as hard as we could. On Tuesday, Sharon worked us so HARD with an aerobic workout that I could barely sleep that night, let alone climb the stairs the next morning! Even though Sharon warned us and we were given permission, I was tempted to skip my workout on Wednesday due to the pain (somebody call the WAAAAAHHHmbulance!), but I went in late instead. Better late than never, right?

Another big help has been keeping a food journal. We're tracking carbs and calories (I'm used to tracking fat grams, calories and fiber), and even though I haven't had enough calories every day, it has made me more accountable to what I'm putting in my mouth. I admit, I got lazy and sloppy and that's what helped contribute to my downward spiral, but I'm doing well so far and it has made a huge difference.

Most important, I want to tell you about an incredible experience at the Colorado Wranglers Concert tonight at Radiant Church. For the last several months, I have been avoiding my support groups for my food addiction and compulsive overeating, even stepping down as a small group leader because I had "failed" so miserably. After listening intently to the lyrics of "Master's Call" and hearing the cowboys' testimonies, I realized where I needed to be: back at Celebrate Recovery! I wept in the second-to-last row as I thanked God for this revelation, and left with a new determination that I would return to my support groups, starting tomorrow night! Don't get me wrong, I knew I needed to get back to my groups, but I was resisting! Pride, maybe? Most likely!

I felt as if a dam had burst and all the stress, failure and depression came crashing through as I let the words wash over me. I was thankful for the revelation, confessed my disobedience, asked for forgiveness, and started with a clean slate. For someone who has never struggled with a food addiction (or any addiction for that matter), you may not understand what I'm talking about, but for those of you who have, you know exactly what I'm saying. And contrary to a fellow churchgoer's belief, becoming a Christian does NOT "magically cure" my addiction, nor does it mean my salvation isn't "genuine" if I continue to struggle. Nope, this disease is something I will struggle with for the rest of my life, "saved" or not. But I can rest in the knowledge that I don't have to go through it alone.

So, this has been a breakthrough week for me. I'm off to a good start, and if I don't reclaim my No. 1 spot in April, I know ... I KNOW I will be back at No. 1 by May!

Yahoooooo! I'm excited to weigh in on Monday and see what the results are thus far because I can already feel a difference in how my jeans and rings fit!


Post Script to Jim Rainey: I hereby emphatically state that my weight loss goals are almost entirely for me -- I'd also like to present a beautiful body to my husband, but I am the main reason -- I hope that's OK. I appreciate your comments and encouragement!



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CONTRIBUTOR INFO

Stephanie Johnson

Colorado Springs , CO

Stephanie Johnson has posted 23 blog entries and 55 comments since joining on 8/9/2007. Stephanie Johnson 's average blog rating is 5.
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