YourHub.com \\ Powers \\ Blogs \\ Health & Fitness \\ Fitness

Blog Entry 21 of 23 The Incredible Shrinking Woman

DIET is a four letter word. My weight issues began in elementary school, when I started stealing and hiding food to comfort myself. In my early 20's, I really began packing on the pounds when I had 3 children within 8 years. I tried several diets, which WORKED, if only I would STICK with them. I used every excuse in the book: Life happens, I deserved it, I'm stressed, my fatness was everyone else's problem, people should accept me for WHO I was, not for what I looked like, who cares anyway? I lost weight for the wrong reasons, and the bad taste in my mouth stayed with me like a burnt entree. At my heaviest in December 2000, I weighed 237 lbs., morbidly obese for my 5'1" frame. A month later, I started a diet and joined a gym and got down to 159 by September. After a family crisis occurred and lasted 4 years, my turning to food for comfort took its toll. Still I searched...magazines, books, supplements, but never found the missing link until Nov. '06, when I looked at my recovery from an emotional, spiritual, physical and mental standpoint. Finding an exercise regimen I could live with for the rest of my life was crucial as well. Won't you join me on my journey as I whittle myself down to my goal of 123 lbs. by March 2008?

Blog Url: http://coloradosprings.yourhub.com/~IncredibleShrinkingWoman

1 Ray of Hope, 2 Friends, 3 Goals, 4 Steps

e-mail to a friend | print this | link to this

NEXT › ‹ PREVIOUS

Contributed by: Stephanie Johnson on 3/3/2008

This weekend I ran into a business acquaintance whom I hadn't seen for several months and she asked me if I was still losing weight. I confessed that I had gained about 10 pounds since the last time she saw me (I weighed in at 178 last week!) and I was really struggling. She called me "Fatty!" I was devastated but tried to play it off by saying, "Gee, thanks, I'm feeling every inch of my fatness and that comment sure didn't help!" She justified the name-calling by saying, "Oh, I know you." Later when I got a sandwich, she criticized my food selection, asking me if I "really needed that bread." I felt like smearing my lunch in her face like a pie as if she were a clown at a three-ring circus!

Today when I met with some girlfriends over coffee, I was a good girl and only ordered a SMALL mocha frappuccino and "skipped the whip." That was a HUGE step for me! I confided in them about my relapse: I'm totally back into my food addiction, binging and compulsive overeating disease. When this happens, I isolate from friends, hide my forbidden foods, binge in secret, and then lie about it. I'm only as sick as my secrets, so it was a huge relief to spill the beans.

Debbie Shellenberger and Nellie Pomales are fellow Curves members: Debbie is my friend who picks me up every weekday at 6 a.m. to go work out; Nel has an ever-changing schedule, so we're never sure when we'll get to see her smiling face as she walks through the door. They were very sympathetic and supportive, gave me lots of hugs while I cried, and said they're "here for me." We made plans to meet at my house (hopefully at least once a week) to encourage and motivate each other, socialize, go for walks, possibly participate in a 5K this summer, etc. Two other members are also needing encouragement, so we're going to invite them to join us.

I asked the girls to be my "best friends/worst enemies": no matter how much I might resist doing what I need to do to stay on track with my healthy eating, or telling them I don't like them, or refusing to exercise, etc., not to take it personally but encourage me to do what I need to do anyway. I need to get over my temper-tantrum-throwing-spoiled-brat self and Just Do It. I'm thankful they love me enough that they won't stop being my friends because I lashed out at them in anger. I also asked that they not call me names or judge me, even jokingly.

Receiving unconditional love and unwavering support from friends are crucial in my success at losing weight, but so is first and foremost having a meaningful relationship with those friends. Unlike the acquaintance I ran into this weekend who hadn't "earned" the right nor was"invited" to criticize my eating patterns, Debbie and Nel are part of my "inner circle." There's a difference between opening myself up and inviting people to come in versus getting criticized by someone I hardly know -- that kind of stuff causes me to shut down and withdraw into my shell. And eat.

Sharon at Curves developed a new challenge for this month, and I actually signed up for it last week! Very grudgingly, mind you, but after I spilled my guts to Debbie and Nel, I felt better about signing up and being able to utilize this challenge to get back on track.

I'm currently Number One out of the Top Ten Losers out of all the women who go to Astrozon Curves, but when I went in today, there was a new name (she just rejoined) on one of the boards of someone losing 69.5 pounds (I was at 65.5 but erased my name since I gained some back) and it looks like I can be knocked down to Number Two on the Top Ten board! Nothing like a little healthy competition to get me motivated, huh?

I have to confess -- I am jealous that someone is "beating" me, and I don't want to lose the Number One spot, so I have to defend my title! Therefore, I've set a few short-term goals for myself:

1. Be Number One out of the Top Three Losers for March.
2. Successfully complete the Curves Spring Challenge.
3. Regain/Maintain my Number One Top Ten Losers spot.

These are some initial steps I will take/continue to do in order to achieve those goals:

1. Exercise five times a week.
2. Drink 64 ounces of water daily.
3. Avoid sweets.
4. Resist the urge to binge and watch my portions.

I'll keep you posted on my progress! And to all you Hubbers who are posting encouraging comments on my blog, I read and cherish every single one, so please keep them coming. Your believing in me until I can believe in myself again is key to my success and willingness to continue. Thanks so much!

If there are people in the southeast part of town who need help with their weight loss or getting their brain straightened out as far as an eating disorder and would like to join us, please contact me through YourHub for directions and time. The more accountability I have, the better. Besides, helping others helps get the focus off me so that I won't continue to wallow in self-pity.

Let your efforts rise above your excuses!

< Previous: 'Pity Party Persists' | Next: 'Challenge Update Day 4' >

[Report this as objectionable content.]

SUBMIT COMMENT

Rate the above blog

Current Rating

Based on 1 user ratings.

Talk Back : submit comments to the blog

*Note: you need to log-in to add a comment or rating.

Thank you! Your comment has been updated.

Showing 1-3 of 3 comments

Submitted By: Jim Rainey

posted on 3/10/2008 @ 3:45:14 PM

(Not Rated)

Hi Stephanie, The key is to not quit no matter how frustrated you may become. I once tipped the scales at over 350#'s. I happen to be male and for some unknown physiological reason, males tend to obtain greater success at weight loss than women, so don't get discouraged. I'm now battling the "old-age spread", so I've gained around 65 lbs over a very short period of time. Now I'm going to take the weight off again. After reading your blog Stephanie, there is one thing that causes me a little concern for you. You have developed a good plan, but nowhere do you state emphatically that your wieght loss goals are entirely for you. This must be your number one reason if health issues are excluded. Weight loss for any other reason is futile, because the results do not last. But be encouraged and keep you eye on the final prize and that is your ideal weight. God bless you and your efforts.

[Report as objectionable]

Submitted By: Cathy Toft

posted on 3/4/2008 @ 3:32:24 PM

(Not Rated)

Steph, You can do it I've seen you suceed

[Report as objectionable]

Submitted By: Earl Chang

posted on 3/3/2008 @ 5:04:49 PM

Rated Blog Entry

There's the positive Stephanie I know! When people call you names, it hurts even more from friends/acquaintances...they if anyone should know better! You have a great plan now and I'm sure you'll do well. Keep your chin up!

[Report as objectionable]

Showing 1-3 of 3 comments

CONTRIBUTOR INFO