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Blog Entry 53 of 76 Awake Thou That Sleepest, Arise From Your Slumber

I am a seeker of truths. I am a soul who has been "awakened" and now an awakener of other souls. Two years ago, something happened to me that I can only explain as a kind of "awakening" from a haze that was my everyday life. The embers of "who I was was" that stirred deep within me were set aflame when I went to see a movie. I wasn't expecting this experience, which is why in part I think it happened. I left the theatre crying and with the most throbbing headache I've ever had, but not the average kind of headache crying gives you. This was the kind of headache characters in movies have after waking up from a coma. The world seemed new to me and it was as if I was remembering my life and who I was for the very first time. Since then, my life has changed in so many ways. And now it has led me here, to this new forum of shared thoughts and ideas. Like the first time I posted my "awakening" experience on a public website, I am again feeling this fear of "Is this really the right place for me to post this?" But like two years ago, I'm willing to take this risk again because I know how important it is to share my experience with as many people as I can, with the hope that others who have had a similar experience, or at least the desire to understand more about what this is about might have the courage to come together and find one another through this blog. It is my hope and belief that I will read the stories of others who are also "seekers" here. Welcome.

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Hooray It's Christmas! Why Can't I Stop Crying?

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Contributed by: Dianne Perea on 12/19/2007

We've all heard it said often that Christmas can be one of the saddest times of the year for people for a variety of reasons. For some, it is a reminder of a death of someone very close to them. For others, it is simply a lonely holiday. Sometimes it's depressing to be a family with kids and know that neither you nor Santa will be able to give your kids anything from their wish list. It's cold, it gets dark early and there are a lot of illnesses going around. We are stretched about as much as we can be stretched under "normal" circumstances, but then add something like the New Life Church shootings and this can put some people just over the edge into an almost depression-like state. And all the while our kiddos and society in general wants and needs to see us with happy and jolly faces. Sorry, but that's yet another pressure.

In each and every one of our individual lives, there is such a variety of painful, difficult or just overwhelming events and emotions swirling around in our lives and heads during the time of year when we genuinely want to feel festive, joyful, grateful and happy. Why is that? Even if we can blink the tears out of our eyes in order to be happy while we decortate trees and cookies and buy gifts and send out cards, we can't blink away the pain our hearts and souls are feeling.

After the New Life Church shootings, all I have been thinking about is what it all means and what the deeper messages and truths are that we can take from them. I don't have any poetic answers, but all I can think is that without pain, we cannot fully appreciate our joy. Without suffering, we cannot fully feel the gratitude when things are good or OK. When we feel separated from one another, it is only then that we are reminded of what a sacred gift it is to have moments when we are all safe and together. These gifts of wisdom, of being able to look past the horror and pain in order to see and be reminded of the things we are most grateful for is what this season is more and more becoming about for me.

This is an extraordinarily painful time of year for a lot of people. If you know people like this in your life, reach out to them, knowing that you don't have to fix them or their life, but simply be open arms during this time of year, arms that say,"I care about you ... let's just be together right now." You can't imagine what kind of an impact just this tiny gesture might make on them.

These are joyous times, as they are sorrowful times. But when we stop and remember the true origin of this holiday, it was also a time of sorrow and joy. And like I always like to say to my daughter, "If you believe, it'll be all right in the end."

Emily said she wants to make the biggest and most beautiful birthday cake for Jesus this year. Suddenly, everything was right in the world.

So, blessings, love, peace and joy I wish to all of you. Embrace your sorrowful moments as much as your happy ones, for they will give you the full depth of what this holiday is truly about. Love with all your heart, soul and mind and do not let the distractions of the world take one ounce of light away from illuminating your true inner beauty and inner being. It's all about love. Pure and simple.

Merry Christmas, everyone. Thank you for keeping the garden in my soul alive and colorful. Oh, and one last thing ... whoever it was who shoveled my entire walkway along the entire front of my house, I cannot thank you enough for doing that. I had not one drop of energy left that day and to drive up and see that was done was like seeing a little Christmas miracle happen in my life. Thank you so much.

Dianne

P.S. Listen to music that makes your heart sing!

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Submitted By: Stephanie Johnson

posted on 1/6/2008 @ 6:01:58 PM

Rated Blog Entry

Thanks for reminding me that there is no joy without sorrow. I am still grieving the death of my father, and it has been a trying holiday season. I hope I crawl out of this pit soon, because it's dark and lonely down here.

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