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Helping Dads Be There for Their Kids

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Contributed by: Rich Batten on 1/13/2008

No one said it would be easy. Everyone says it's important - Being there for your kids. No matter where you are in your life as a father, there are relationships and resources available to help you be the kind of dad your child(ren) need you to be.

On my Fastbreak for Fathers blog, ( www.coloradodads.com), I recently asked men to comment on what they thought was at the heart of creating and maintaining a strong, positive, father-child relationship. Tyler commented that since the day of his daughter's birth he has carried her in his heart wherever he goes. Her presence "pretty much affects every aspect of my life." He goes on to relate how becoming a father has affected his relationship with his dad, his wife and the world at large. Tyler's thoughts remind me of Samuel Osherson words in his book, The Passions of Fatherhood, "Fatherhood is not just a role - provider, disciplinarian, friend - it's also a relationship, one that transforms us as much as our kids." Becoming a parent is a transforming experience for men and women alike.

In 2007 I had the opportunity to help facilitate a coordinated statewide network of services that is focused on helping children of Colorado have long-term healthy relationships with their father or a father figure. Through this work a collaborative relationship between government, community agencies, faith-based organizations and the private sector have sought to initiate, promote and support effective programs that decrease barriers to and increase healthy father involvement with children, families and communities.

www.coloradodads.com has become the place for dads and agencies alike to find resources and ideas to nurture healthy father involvement with children, families and communities in Colorado. The site features tips on developing healthy relationships, information on fatherhood programs across the state, a listing of events, and an opportunity to sign up for special offers for father/child activities - this month's offer includes tickets to the Avalanche and Blackhawks game on January 18 and free admission and skate rental for the Boulder Ice Rink.

Being present for your child will look different based on your life circumstances and your child's age, but at a minimum, it means doing everything you can to connect with your child in manner that helps him or her to thrive and enjoy life. The noted developmental psychologist, Urie Bronfenbrenner, said it this way, "every kid needs at least one adult who is crazy about him!" I, for one, am committed to helping at least one of those adults be a dad.

Rich Batten is the father of four and a family and fatherhood specialist for the Colorado Department of Human Services.

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