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The Devil Made Him Do It

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Contributed by: Catherine Durkin Robinson on 2/29/2008

Nothing angers me more than parents who refuse to take responsibility for their actions. Say it with me: Bad parents ruin our classrooms, our community, our country.

Any drug addict, recovering whack job, troubled teenager or evil corporate executive will tell you the same thing: mommy and daddy were awful.

I'm not saying I buy such an excuse from adults, because I don't. Build a bridge, folks. However, we can learn a thing or two about the destructive decisions parents make and then our classrooms, our community, and our country will be a whole lot better because of it.

And safer.

But most people feel better blaming others because such deflection is easier and frees them from any and all accountability.

Speaking of which...

Ronald and Loretta Murray graced James Dobson's radio program yesterday and today with crazy talk about their son and what might have driven him to murder.

At first, I was thrilled to see his parents come forward and answer serious questions about the tragedy. Then I remembered - it's James Dobson, people.

And so it went.

Let's see - the Murrays blamed their son's violent rampage on his attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, bitterness for being an outcast, and Satan.

This line of reasoning, if one can call it that, holds the parents responsible for nothing.

Nothing.

Because they prayed.

How convenient.

This was a young man homeschooled since first grade, drugged with Ritalin since age 5, and who ultimately raged against the strict Biblical curriculum his parents used. He lived at home and even slept in his own bed the night after killing kids in Arvada and before driving to The Springs the next morning to kill some more.

His parents never had a clue. They didn't realize he was armed and dangerous. They didn't realize a whole lot about the son who lived and learned with them since childhood. The Murrays were dangerously clueless about a child they claimed to love and pray for every day.

And so what can we learn? Nothing, according to the Murrays .

Nothing except the power of forgiveness bestowed upon them by the victims' family. The victims' family also forgave the killer right away.

Apparently, there is absolutely nothing we can do about angry children who kill. Because of Satan. So keep studying that Bible! Worked so well for the Murrays , didn't it?

The people buying this particular brand of nonsense are the same people who would be yelling from the rooftops about the importance of fathers if these killers were black and living in the inner city. Yet white, middle-class parents fail to see the part they are playing in all of this.

Self-delusion would be funny if it didn't hurt so many of us.

I'm not surprised that two families devoted to evangelical Christianity aren't interested in self-awareness, an honest evaluation of irresponsible parenting or an intelligent conversation about the effects of their faith on the unhinged among them.

But doesn't their blind cluelessness just continue to let bad parents off the hook?

Again.

How convenient.

***contact the author directly with compliments or insults at Out in Left Field***

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Showing 1-6 of 6 comments

Submitted By: Stephanie Johnson

posted on 3/6/2008 @ 11:34:22 AM

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No, parents don't always play a part in their kids' choices. Yes, there are things parents could differently (because we all know there's no such thing as a perfect parent), but ultimately, it's still all about freedom of choice. Matthew pulled the trigger. This is a case where we'll have to agree to disagree, and I pray that when they get older, your kids never turn away from the wisdom you imparted to them when they were younger.

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Submitted By: Catherine Durkin Robinson

posted on 3/5/2008 @ 11:58:19 AM

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No, I don't blame Christianity for what the kid did. I do believe though that the parents played a part - parents always do. Therefore, if they explored privately and came to grips, fine. If they explored publicly, even better because maybe we could all learn from their mistakes and hopefully prevent another tragedy. The sarcasm directed at Dobson, hiding behind a Bible or Satan as an excuse is just that - sarcasm. If anything, I'm blaming those *aspects* of Christianity, and it's focus on belief rather than behavior, as a problem because it's pathetically easy to blame Satan instead of ourselves.

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Submitted By: Stephanie Johnson

posted on 3/3/2008 @ 3:55:23 PM

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You're still contradicting yourself, Catherine. You say "no matter what religion," yet you partly blame Christianity for what happened. Or am I misunderstanding the sarcasm directed at Dr. Dobson, the Bible, Satan, "brand of nonsense," prayer, etc.?

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Submitted By: Pete Van Vuren

posted on 3/3/2008 @ 7:37:00 AM

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Interesting. You are angered at the parents not taking responsibility. Somehow I am guessing what you see in tv and radio interviews is not the same level of responsibility they take behind closed doors. The kid did something that directly conflicts with their own belief system. It is not that they were attempting to raise a suicidal mass killer. Reading your article made me wonder if your parents purposely raised a young woman who would get so angry at a killers parents that she would write newspaper articles about her anger. Have you ever seen a newspaper article get the story 100%? Doubtful. My belief is that you are angry at what you see in print, not on the private reality of it.

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Submitted By: Catherine Durkin Robinson

posted on 3/1/2008 @ 8:24:56 AM

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Good question. No matter what religion, the parents of a young mass murderer should explore family mistakes that could help others prevent a future tragedy. If an orthodox Jewish family hid behind some Torah passage, a Buddhist family hid behind dharma, New Agers talked nonsense about karma, atheists blamed others or Muslims spouted crap about the will of Allah, I'd be just as angry. I want to see positive actions come out of these tragedies. Positive actions speak a whole lot louder than words.

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Submitted By: Stephanie Johnson

posted on 2/29/2008 @ 8:33:05 PM

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I agree that parents need to constantly be building a bridge with their kids. Even "good" parents can do everything for and with their kids, but ultimately the kid still has free will to make his or her own choices. It's easy to jump to conclusions when one doesn't know the entire story. What would your opinion be if the Murrays were Jewish, Buddhist, New Agers, atheists or Muslim? I'm thankful to hear the Workses were able to forgive the Murrays.

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CONTRIBUTOR INFO

Catherine Durkin Robinson

Colorado Springs , CO

Catherine Durkin Robinson has posted 65 stories and 9 comments since joining on 11/8/2007. Catherine Durkin Robinson 's average story rating is 4.

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