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Happiness Is A Lot Like Pornography

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Contributed by: Catherine Durkin Robinson on 2/12/2008

The movement bringing happiness to every man, woman, and child is about to hit a major roadblock.

A recent Newsweek article predicts that the shiny happy people craze is ending. And maybe that's for the better because, according to experts, sadness can benefit us almost as much as happiness.

Americans' fixation on happiness, (Wilson) writes, fosters "a craven disregard for the value of sadness" and "its integral place in the great rhythm of the cosmos."

Wilson is correct. When nasty nonsense goes down - your favorite team loses the SuperBowl, a loved one dies, or your husband moves you to a godforesaken frozen wasteland where culture, education, and politics all revolve around bible study - then sadness is the appropriate response.

For a while.

Until it gets old.

After a few months you either need to build a bridge and get over it, find joy in unexpected places or pop a pill so people can stand being around you again.

Although, I'm related to a few unmedicated grumpsters and they're not so bad.

For a while.

Until it gets old.

But perpetual Pollyannas are just as bad. They look ridiculous, what with all the famine and disease and death going on in the world. Ignorance is bliss, after all. Who wants to be ignorant? Besides Mitt Romney fans, I mean.

Wait a minute. Blissful ignorance isn't happiness either. It's delusion brought on by too many hours in front of The Disney Channel.

The article, and experts, also confuse happiness with satisfaction. Check it:

"If you're totally satisfied with your life and with how things are going in the world," says Diener, "you don't feel very motivated to work for change. Be wary when people tell you you should be happier."

I am one of the happiest people I know.

There. I said it.

I'm also the least satisfied. I consistently seek to better the way I write, eat, exercise, work, parent, love, and humpty hump. I may not always succeed in improving, but it sure is fun trying. So happiness is not the same as being content, I'm living proof.

We don't wear happiness on our faces, that's for sure. It's deeper than that. True happiness lives in our souls and alters the way we look at people. It's the foundation and result of living a wonderful life and not always noticeable as we make our way in the world with a run in our stockings while managing the moods of five children under the age of ten.

Good thing sometimes. I have a friend who went through a nasty divorce. Attracted a ton of likeminded and seriously sad women. Then she found true love. Those aforementioned acquaintances ditched her like a bad dinner date. Company loves misery. I'd have zero friends if I walked around talking about my inner joy and a husband who cleans up after dinner. It's not acceptable even for a while. Gets old real quick.

Speaking of misinterpreting joy, recently some more experts decided, as long-time reader QuakerJono put it, Democrats are miserableand Republicans a delight.

Right.

Again, happiness and ignorance are two different things:

I don't know whether Democrats follow world events more closely than Republicans, but they are, on average, better educated, and that might explain their glumness. People with advanced degrees report being less happy than those with only a bachelor's.

The article misses the point and teaches us nothing we don't already know. Awareness about the world's problems and actively seeking to better our circumstances has nothing to do with happiness. Such activists can be happy or sad, depending on the day. It's also not the point. We do good because we are required or compelled to do so. Happiness is the added bonus, not the goal.

So what is happiness?

I know it when I see it.

Bottom line, seriously happy people are as delusional and irritating as seriously sad people. True and complete joy is to balance the time to weep, the time to mourn, the time to dance, and the time to sing.

Feel it all.

And then it never gets old.

***for more opinions on how to live your life, visit Out in Left Field***

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Showing 1-4 of 4 comments

Submitted By: jane rodgers

posted on 2/14/2008 @ 7:47:10 PM

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Thanks Mame, from all of us Christians, Americans and Republicans. God Bless!

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Submitted By: Catherine Durkin Robinson

posted on 2/14/2008 @ 11:51:54 AM

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Thanks as always for the feedback. I appreciate your willingness to help in my aforementioned neverending quest to improve. This should be filed under "lifestyle advice" I suppose. Anyone out there with "humpty hump" advice? I'm all ears.

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Submitted By: Mame Shroyer

posted on 2/12/2008 @ 11:46:55 AM

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By the way, I have 3 degrees, including a masters, and yes I am a Christian and a republican.

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Submitted By: Mame Shroyer

posted on 2/12/2008 @ 11:45:18 AM

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"Weep with those who weep. Mourn with those who mourn." This part I totally agree with. That's the kind of friend I try to be, and the kind of friends I seek. But you know what really gets old? Your seeming need to continually put down anyone who disagrees with you, who sits on the other side of the political or religious fence from you. You are a woman of considerable talent and wit, yet your superior attitude poisons your writings.

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Showing 1-4 of 4 comments

CONTRIBUTOR INFO

Catherine Durkin Robinson

Colorado Springs , CO

Catherine Durkin Robinson has posted 65 stories and 9 comments since joining on 11/8/2007. Catherine Durkin Robinson 's average story rating is 4.

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