This morning I was in such a hurry to get out the door, I forgot my purse. The only upside of this particular snafu is I had my lunch bag so a) I am not going to starve and b) I am not without some of the many millions of pieces of mail that make my life go around. The down side is my mortgage payment is due tomorrow and my checkbook and ID are in the purse. This would not be a problem for normal people, but I live 23 miles (35-45 minutes) away from where I work. It's a blonde moment I can make it through, but like all of those forgetful moments, it's left me kicking myself for forgetting to do something completely routine.

I can hear my mother now, "don't be so hard on yourself, that happens to everyone sooner or later." After all, the only one who knows about these things, and therefore is embarrassed, is myself. It does not negate the fact I've felt like an early-onset Alzheimer's patient lately. Perhaps it is the long dark nights, or lack of sunshine for hours at a time finally taking it's toll on my once near-genius level, making-the-deans-list brain .
A few other shining moments of hilarity from the last year :

I leave for a dog show, forgetting all of my underwear and bras. Wal-Mart lives.

I leave a freshly baked apple pie on the kitchen counter. Why is this funny ? The dog inhaled the whole thing, except for the crust. If I hadn't been so angry my feelings would have been hurt. Apparently the crust was not even fit for a dog. This is the same dog who eats rabbit pellets like they're Skittles.

Ripping the vent cover off the top of a rented Winnebago after forgetting to roll it back into the "closed position" before pulling out of the camping spot.

Neglecting to remove the cover of the end of the sewer drain off of a friend's travel trailer - until after the black water was already comfortably resting in the pipe, waiting to squirt out.

Forgetting I had jury duty. Whoops.

Forgetting my 4'10" Mother never puts her garage door all the way up when she is doing yard work, turning around and smacking squarely into with my forehead. The Stooges would have been proud.

There are more, but that is enough to convey my shame.

Here is the main problem. I have the memory of an elephant -- for some things. I can write down dog pedigrees 12 + generations for my purebred Weimaraners, I remember everybody's birthday, even people I knew in high school and college whom I haven't spoke to in years. I've committed recipes to memory, all of the gender terms for "the" in the German language and the user manual for my bread machine. You get the point.

In the absence of any other explanation, my brain practices selective memorization, much to the annoyance of the consciousness trying to control it. Simply put, the harder I try to remember something, the more likely I am to forget it. Ask yourself how many commercial jingles or songs from the '80's and 90's you can sing. If you can start with "all beef patty special sauce. . ." or "Transformers. . .more than meets the eye," we are possibly in the same situation. By the same token, can you remember the complex logic or calculus equations from the days of educational yore ?

Unfortunately, no !