Blog

"She's been a handful today," my wife said when I came home from work. Sure, the entire contents of our entertainment center had been pulled out and slung all over the living room floor. Sure, my daughter's face was covered in finger paint. But this kind of thing is par for the course at the Duncan household.

Sure, I thought. A handful. What toddler isn't a handful?

Then I noticed it. There was some kind of electricity in the air, like a strong wind in the dead of night. There was a storm headed our way.

It's happened. I'd read that somewhere between 18 months and two years it would come, and for my 22-month-old daughter, Natalie aka The Shoosh, the toddler tantrums have descended, as unwelcome as another Colorado snowstorm.

While fixing myself a sandwich, I heard a Wilco song start playing and turned around to see that The Shoosh had managed to wield a computer mouse well enough to start up iTunes on my wife's PC. Pulling her away from the computer induced back arching, kicking, and flailing fun.

She managed to get a VHS in the VCR and started taping the nightly news (and over a great episode of Family Guy! sigh). I stopped the tape. Cue tantrum.

She pushed a chair over to the kitchen sink and I pulled her down in a screaming fit just as she was reaching for a large knife.

She poured a whole glass of water on our bedroomfloor and took a wailing nose-dive into the carpet when I took the cup away.

She did all this within a 30-minute period.

"What's going on?" I asked my wife as we watched her run around in circles and fall down over and over again. Did you give her a candy bar?

"It's a new era," she said.

And so the new era begins. An era where I have to determine what's appropriate when she throws a tantrum in a department store, refuses to stay still for a diaper change, hits herself in the head with her hands, falls off of chairs reaching for forbidden treasures, etc., etc., etc...

I feel like I'm starting to get a handle on it. I ignore the tantrum when I can (like at home) or remove her from the situation if we're in public. But I go to work. I'm not responsible for doing the grocery shopping or other daily errands my wonderful wife (thanks, hon) does for the family every day. Whereas I only have a few hours of madness each night, it can feel interminable for my wife.

But there's still the weekend to deal with - hours and hours of temper-taming acrobatics - and I could use some new techniques for dealing with the tantrums as well. I've been looking for some more unconventional tips to aid us in our quest for a return to the halcyon days when we had a well-behaved child.

Here are a few ideas I may try out:

Throw a tantrum with your child
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Right? What could be more fun? I want to roll around on the floor and kick my legs up in the air, too. This parenting gig is too tough! Whaaaa! Ah, that felt better. But seriously, this is supposed to work. Whether it wigs them out or just gets them giggling, it just might stop the tantrum. After brushing yourself off and pretending not to see the wide-eyed stares of Victoria's Secret shoppers, it's time for a hug and to continue on with finding that elusive Valentine present for Mom.

Unleash the Audio Adderall
I guess some parents swear by this. Buy (or dust off) an old audio cassette player and reserve it only for errands. Tape some stories, children's songs, or hypnosis tracks (You are a well-behaved child. You never embarrass your father at the store) and use it only for errands. Genius!