I would love to know if it's just me or if "it" happens to everyone at some point in life.

"It" is a hand reaching out from the past, via telephone and/or e-mail. "It" is someone from your past-an ex-contacting you to see how you're doing.

I'm in my mid-40s and over the last 3 years or so I've been contacted by several ex-boyfriends. Some from 10 years ago, 20 years ago, and even an ex from high school! Enough time and distance has passed that I'm not bothered by these calls and they leave me feeling pretty good when the conversation is over; good because I'm pretty happy in life and things have so far turned out okay. I couldn't have been this blasé 10 or more years ago, as these relationships all ended so badly and some exes became stalkers.

I'm happily married, have been for years, and have never, ever had the desire to look up old relationships from the past to see how they are. I've been contacted by and have contacted old friends (girls) and it's been great catching up. But old boyfriends? Why? Why would anyone want to do that? And the attitude from all has been the same-literally it goes something like this, in a nutshell: "Ha, ha, I'm doing great now and you were wrong..."

It starts out with an introduction; "Hi, I'm so-and so; remember me?" Once the initial shock wears off I say, "Yep." They say something like, "I'm just calling to let you know I'm married and successful and very happy." I say something like, "Great. I'm glad you're happy." Then it turns into this question-and-answer session. Am I married? (Yep.) Am I happy? (Yep.) Have I ever wondered if... (Nope.) And then an end to the conversation.

I hang up the phone thinking really, if these guys are so happy in life, why are they calling me? And why so interested in my personal life? Does a truly happy person call another from many years ago just to say, ha! Showed you! Are they hoping I'm doing badly? Are they just mature enough now to realize we were young and stupid back then, said and did stupid things, made a lot of mistakes, and they're just calling to say we're all okay now and boy, weren't we stupid? Maybe they're still not over it? Maybe now they have kids that are going through the same thing and hope to make it easier for them?

I have to say, I'm really not sure why. When we're young, "in love," and inexperienced we DO say and do stupid things. Emotions can run very strong and intense, and relationships can end very badly, leaving a lot of unanswered questions. Now, all these years later, the questions can safely be answered with nobody being on the "losing" end. I guess there's a security in getting answers when you're all older, with rivers of water under the bridge, and having a calm discussion when you're not face-to-face.

Tell me, have you ever called an ex or been called by an ex? If so, why and what did you get out of the conversation? Are you glad you had the conversation?