It was summer 2004. My husband and I had gone out for one of our routine walks in the mountains. Suddenly, I stopped, breathless, gasping for air. My heart was pounding out of my chest and the pain brought me to my knees. I thought this must be what drowning feels like. He pushed my head between my knees and screamed "breathe". Finally, I was able to take some slow deep breathes and recover enough to make it back home. Before and after this "episode", I felt pretty good. I worked 40 hours a week, walked with the dogs and did gardening. Even though I needed to lose some weight, I was active. But I felt this was more than being out of shape or overweight. This "attack" felt different. It took me a few months and the detection of a heart murmur, to convince my doctor to run some test. Finally after two heart cauterizations and lots of test, I was diagnosed with severe PPH,

(Primary Pulmonary Hypertension). It's now called PAH, IPAH or just PH.

I thought, what's that? I feel fine now. I'll just lose some weight.

The first heart doctor told me I had 8 months or so, the pulmonary specialist gave me a few months to a couple of years. He told me to "just go home and be with your family before you die. There are only four treatments available for PPH, all with horrible side effects and it's not worth it."

The first few months I didn't feel that ill, but I prepared to die. I got all my personal affairs in order, redid my will and basically told everyone good-bye. My friends and family didn't really believe me. I was still working and running around and only on oxygen at night. My supervisor told me I looked like the epitome of health. My husband was in complete denial. There must be some mistake. The whole thing was very surreal, like I was another person. I was a territory manager for a company that represents food vendors in Walmart, like Heinz, Kraft, etc. I loved my job and it kept me very busy, giving me purpose to get up everyday. When I went on oxygen 24/7 my company did give me some trouble but came around after I evoked the ADA (American Disabilities Act). It's kind of funny now, but my greatest fear was dropping dead in a Walmart. While I was waiting to die, I said a lot of prayers and started doing my own research on the internet. I found the Pulmonary Hypertension Association (PHA). Armed with information now, I became proactive in the fight for my life. You know your body best and so far none of my doctors had agreed on anything. My researches lead me to the University of Colorado Hospital and Dr. David Badesch. I started my first treatment in September 2005. Treatment for most PH patients is just trying to slow the progression of the disease down and maybe reduce your lung pressures to buy you some time. Also some of the drugs help with the increasing pain. In time, you can only hope that a new drug or new treatment will be discovered or a miracle will happen and a cure will be found. PH is a complicated disease and everyone reacts differently to each of the available treatments. You are classified by physical abilities and your lung pressure, Class I-IV, IV being the worst with the least time to live. My pressure was three times normal putting me in IV but I was still able to work and live quite normally as long as I didn't physically exert myself, putting me in class III. No wonder my doctors couldn't agree. My PH is not typical.

I went on oxygen immediately in 2004, at first just at night. By the fall of 2005 I was on oxygen 24/7. The first drug treatment did not improve my condition but did ease my chest pain and stabilize my condition for a while.

I slowly became worse, unable to walk very far or lift anything. My company and my Walmart managers helped me so I was able to continue working till December 2006. I am now retired and on long term disability. Dr. Bogarin now handles my treatment and started me on a drug that helps my heart keep pumping. My physical ability is more limited now. Some days I still get around pretty good. Others I spend most of the day in bed or resting.

Before PPH, I was a 52 year old energetic, outgoing, professional woman who traveled and never let age or weight, keep me from my many adventures. My husband and I hiked Diamond Head in Hawaii, rocks in Moab and trails in CO.

With PPH, I am a spirited 55 year old retired now, wife, mother and grandmother who still travels and does not let PH stop me from dreaming or experiencing life's adventures, just much slower, with oxygen.

Your life's journey is only over if you let it be over. My attitude is I just have to cram more living, good memories, traveling and adventures in every day. I used to say, someday I'll lose weight, someday I'll retire, someday I'll take a cruise, someday I'll do whatever. Now I realize, someday is today!