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Blog Entry 4 of 10 Adventures of the Travel Addict

My blog is a conversation place where other Your Hub members can help me find cool new places to visit in Colorado and around the world, suggest the best neighborhood restaurants I should try, and offer advice on how I can finish planning my November wedding.

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Don't say "wedding"

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Contributed by: Gina Grate on 10/3/2006

One of my life long goals was to avoid ever planning a wedding.

I have failed.

Now that I'm 30, at least half or more of my friends are married. I've been in two of their weddings and attended many others. My job as a bridesmaid or attendee has always been fairly simple: show up, admire the decor, enjoy the beautiful, well-thought-out ceremony, try not to trip if I am required to walk slowly down the aisle, cry during the music, savor the reception meal and cake, tell the brides they look beautiful, and for the love of humanity, stay off the dance floor. Oh yeah, and during the festivities, think silently and sympathetically to myself, "Succers!!"

That last is in reference to their "unnecessarily" spending a year and probably thousands of dollars planning a wedding. I, of course, am smarter than that and would never fall into that trap.

Well, guess who's the succer now?

My escape plan, should I accidentally stumble onto the man of my dreams and decide to get married, was to meet him, an officiant, a couple of witnesses and a videographer at the top of a hiking trail and do a quick, 10-minute ceremony under a cobalt blue sky in a cathedral of snow-capped mountains. No decorations. No foofy wedding dress. No emotional songs. No months of planning during my every waking moment. After the simple Rocky Mountain wedding ceremony, we'd hike back to a ski lodge where all the guests would be waiting for a nice, big party. We'd have about 50-70 people, and pop in the video tape of the ceremony for everyone to watch while we dug into some good barbecue and listened to some rockin' music.

The only problem: We have to get married in November. It's a long story, but that's the only date that would work with our life schedule. And snow and winter temperatures negated the isolated little ceremony on a mountainside.

And something else happened that I wasn't counting on: The groom actually cared about the wedding ceremony and what it would be like. That contradicted everything I'd heard about grooms, who traditionally hand you the ring and then get out of the way.

He had a rather larger vision for our wedding than I did.

My fiance wanted groomsmen; he wanted his cousins to be a flower girl and a ringbearer; he wanted all of his friends, family and coworkers to be there as guests.

Something else rather unexpected happened. To me. Now that I was engaged, I was so happy I wanted to share it with everyone! I wanted all my friends from high school, college, post-college and the numerous towns I've lived in since to be there. And I wanted to compromise with my fiance to ensure he was just as happy with our wedding as I was.

Suddenly, my uncomplicated little ceremony with just us, God, our parents and a videographer has turned into a medium-sized traditional and, in my frugal viewpoint, a bit more expensive wedding than I originally envisioned. (Granted, with the average Colorado Springs wedding costing about $20,000, we are comparatively on the budget side, but still...)

I'm having a blast planning what was supposed to be a nightmarish endeavor. I don't sleep, don't have time to eat or go to the gym, don't have time to hang out with my friends, or do anything else, frankly. And yet I'm having a blast.

My bargain hunter personality has kicked into high gear and I'm getting a rush on every corner I cut.

Here are the things I've learned in my attempt to plan a bargain wedding:

1. Don't say "wedding"
Actually, this I stole from a friend who got married a few years ago. She noticed that when she went to buy something and said the word "wedding," suddenly it became a lot more expensive. For instance, to get her wedding dress cleaned before the ceremony, she went to several dry cleaners. When she said it was a "wedding dress" they wanted to charge $150 to clean it. When she went to a fourth dry cleaner and called it a "formal" they cleaned it for $19.95.

2. Use eBay
After looking at flower girl dresses at various bridal shops and on bridal Internet sites, I saw they were each over $100, which I think is way too much for a little girl's dress. Heck, that's the same price as the bridesmaids' dresses! On eBay, I found one I liked better than all the other flower girl dresses for just $45. I've also found unique jewelry for about $20 a piece. They have cake toppers and even wedding dresses! Anything you could want for your wedding, you can probably find at bargain prices on eBay.

3. Shop"not-bridal"stores
I went to bridal shop after bridal shop, and couldn't find any dresses that were slim and simple and something I could fall in love with. They were also much more than I wanted to spend on a dress I would only wear once in my life. Then a friend told me she'd gotten her wedding dress at a department store. I'd never thought of looking there. So I jumped online and at Nordstroms.com found the perfect wedding dress -- it was exactly what I had been looking for, and it was half the price of some of the cheaper dresses I'd tried on at bridal salons.

4. Make your invitations
I wanted something more original and more reflective of our personality as a couple than we could get from ordering invitations. So I shopped craft stores and designed an invitation just for us. It was time-consuming to work on the design in the evenings, gather materials and get everything set up. But a number of my girlfriends were excited to help me and we spent several evenings snacking and watching movies while we worked the invitation assembly line. In about 3 weeks we had a completely original invitation that the guests have reportedly loved, and they appreciated that we took the time to make their cards by hand. This clearly isn't for everyone, but I really enjoyed the process and it probably saved us about $100.

5. Don't go crazy with flowers
In my personal opinion, flowers are unnecessarily expensive. Because we're doing a late-fall-early-winter wedding, it has been easy to avoid using a ton of floral arrangements. We are getting extremely simple bouquets made at a grocery store floral department, and I went out and bought the ribbon for them, which cut even more cost corners. We will decorate the ceremony and reception area with leafless saplings cut down by a local landscaping company, who would just discard the trees anyway. We'll put the leafless trees in pots, then string them with white lights that we already have stored in our boxes of Christmas decorations. I'm planning to buy some inexpensive colored sheer fabric to weave through the branches and soften the look. Voila -- instant seasonal decor that will create soft ambience and we'll only have to pay for the fabric.

If I were to do a summer wedding, I would select an outdoor garden venue where the colorful surroundings would naturally provide all the greenery and flowers I need, at no additional cost. (Hence, one inspiration for my mountain-top wedding idea.)

6. Shop sales
By keeping my eyes open for sale ads, almost everything I've purchased for the wedding has been at deep discount. I got my wedding shoes on summer clearance for $20. My attendants' gifts were on sale at a discount store, and they're beautiful. Our reception centerpieces, ring-bearer pillow, and flower-girl basket were 50%-off at a craft store, and they're all things we'll be able to incorporate into our home's decorations later.

7. Be creative with your cake
We are looking at having a cake with just two tiers, and then filling in the open spaces between them with lush silk roses. The majority of guests will eat from a simple sheet cake that is being cut in the kitchen while we're cutting the decorative cake for pictures. The flower tiers will create the illusion of a large and beautiful cake, but we provide the silk flowers (bought on discount) and the bakery spends less time on making the cake, thereby cutting labor costs. The guests won't know the difference and this way we can afford to hire the bakery that we think makes the most delicious cake.

8. Spend more on your priorities
For my fiance and me, extravagant flowers, a fancy dress, a live DJ and an open bar were not priorities. We omitted those things to save money for what was more important to us -- a full dinner reception that would give us additional time to mingle with our guests,and a venue where they will enjoy spending the evening and where out-of-town guests will feel they got a taste of beautiful Colorado during their visit.

Now, I've thrown out the tips I've picked up from planning my own wedding. What did you learn while planning yours or helping a friend plan hers? What would you do differently? What would you unquestionably do again? Do have a horror story? What was the best thing about the wedding?

Post your tips for planning a wedding in your neighborhood -- I'm looking for all the experienced wisdom and cost-cutting advice I can get.

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Showing 1-4 of 4 comments

Submitted By: Gina Grate

posted on 10/25/2006 @ 6:40:02 PM

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Thanks Melody! Actually the bridesmaids are spread across the country so we went with a national bridal chain because they could visit a nearby store to get fitted. But thanks!

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Submitted By: Melody Logan

posted on 10/19/2006 @ 12:12:25 PM

Rated Blog Entry

Congratulations- Weddings are great, and hopefully, once in a lifetime event-it should be done up special to both bride and groom! BTW, did you find the brides maids, flower girl, and maid of honor gowns yet? I can sew them for you! Check out my profile! Melody 10/19/06 ;*)

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Submitted By: Tiffany Johnson

posted on 10/13/2006 @ 11:55:15 AM

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It also helps to have relative or future relative that can do things. We saved money on our wedding cake, my sister-in-law did cake decorating to put herself through college, she made us a great wedding cake and all we had to do was buy the supplies to actually make the cake.

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Submitted By: Andrew Pottenger

posted on 10/4/2006 @ 5:43:05 PM

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So who's the lucky guy?

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Showing 1-4 of 4 comments

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