Icame back to life 20 years ago. I wasn't physically dead, but I could have been. I was totally out of control of my life. My eating disorder was taking its toll. My relationships were unhealthy. But on the outside I looked perfect. I was a church-going, responsible professional. I had just graduated summa cum laude on a second degree, and had moved to Colorado seeking a new start. But I had a secret. My life wasn't working. Yet I was doing everything right. Then I saw a brochure for a workshop on codependency and it was like someone looked into my soul. I signed up. My life began again.
Codependency often looks normal on the outside. But if any of the following is who you are, you may be a codependent:
-You feel responsible for the happiness, health, comfort or security of others around you
-Your actions are motivated by fear or guilt more than by love
-You have difficulty experiencing and expressing anger appropriately
-You attempt to control people and events around you because of your fear and otherwise unknown outcome
-You struggle with feeling inadequate or "not good enough"
-Your serenity or sense of importance is often determined by how others feel or behave towards you
By attending the workshop on codependency, I learned that the degree to which we become whole people depends a great deal on our family upbringing. When there are addictions, illnesses or other dysfunctional behaviors in a family, every member is affected. The codependent uses this kind of adaptive behavior to protect her feelings and improve her chances for safety and survival. It is, however, a coping mechanism that can also create delusions and a skewed sense of reality. Continued into adulthood, it has a negative effect on one's relationships.
This workshop has been offered many times since I took it 20 years ago, in many different venues. It has helped thousands of people re-claim their lives, as I have. It is being offered again in your neighborhood, beginning January 22, for eight Tuesday evenings. The cost is only $30.
For more information, and to register, please call 388-4972 or go to woodmenvalley.org/pastoralcare. Click on Workshops/Seminars.