My 12 1/2 year old dog Sophie had to be euthanized last Wednesday morning. It was not a huge surprise, but I honestly thought she would be around a little bit longer. Late last year she suffered from acute pancreatits, then pneumonia which we were just getting cleared up. On Saturday at the vet, she had a neurological event, and did not really regain any strength afterwards. We also suspect she had a valve leakage in her heart, but it would be difficult to get an accurate diagnosis.
Not to completely date myself, Sophie was my 18th birthday present. She came from Irwin, Pennsylvania from Tom Wilson who is a very famous Weimaraner breeder. If you've watched dog shows on TV, his dogs are always there. In 1994, I had to fly out to the nationals in St.Louis, Missouri and shake hands with him before he'd sell me a show dog. At the time I was dysfunctional 90 lb. twig, but I pulled myself out of late-teenage narcissism long enough to get what I wanted.
Sophie was incapable of doing anything wrong, even when she was naughty. One of the first and funnier memories I have of her came from early puppyhood. She was fed promptly at 9pm every evening. It was PROMTLY at 9pm, or else. The "or else" meant pooping on the kitchen rug in front of the sink. If you looked at the clock and it was 9:06, the odor of puppy logs was inevitable wafting through the house. Though she eventually stopped pooping on the floor, Sophie's 9 pm dinner bell went off ever single day for her entire life. She also incited her kids, grandkids and great-grandkids to the same unmistakable shrill bark that says "FEED ME NOW!".
One of the laments of a canine family member passing is watching the rest of the dogs try to reorganize themselves and understand that their dowager queen is no longer around. I have enough dogs that they form a pack. One of Sophie's 8-year-old daughters, Jane, is pack leader. Sophie stepped aside years ago because she didn't want the job. Jane is a better disciplinarian than her mother, she keeps the dogs in order and just enough afraid of her that they listen at the slight curl of the lip.
Every dog loved their g-g-grandma. Her last days with us, we would find one or two other dogs laying right next to her in her crate. Avery, Sophie's ½ sister, 2 years younger, would accompany her everywhere. She was the first to notice Sophie really was not coming back. She is still looking for her in her crate, on the sofa and at mealtime. They would eat together and run out the door at the same time. I am always at a loss as to whether it would be better to know your friend has died, or to just always think they were gone on a long trip and never coming back.
It is difficult not to anthropomorphize the dogs' actions and attach meaning to some of the strange things they do. Things are going on in their minds, but they are not as literal as we would process thoughts. They are also extremely sensitive to our vocal intonations, our scent and any changes in routine. When dealing with difficult situations, humans emit more adrenaline which dogs pick up on very quickly. With something so sensitive, it's hard to say whether they are thinking, or just reacting. Perhaps in the long run it doesn't really make a difference as to whether they are feeling loss, or feeling the loss through their human counterparts.
The other dogs have started filling in around the house. Elsa now announces the 9pm snack cry. Hero and Jane take turns bumming food off the dinner table and flipping up your elbow if you don't give it to them. Anna Mae is taking over the "buddy" position with Avery. Truman, Sophie's son, also has took over yapping at the puppies through the baby gate in a half-hearted attempt at playing with them. The puppies think he is funny.
When you get a puppy, you always take on the inevitability of outliving them. Having the opportunity to show my dog, get her health clearances, and eventually make her offspring the foundation of the show and hunting dogs I have today is opportunity not everyone gets with their beloved pet. I worked and played hard with her, but she never had a moment where she didn't think all of life was fun and interesting.